May iniisip ka?
Ayaw kong sabihin. Baka magkatotoo.
Dahil makulit ka
Kilala kita. Oo, ikaw 'yun: Nagkasalubong na tayo minsan, sa LRT, sa Gotohan, sa kanto ng Aurora at Katipunan. Nagkatinginan tayo. Hindi mo ako kinausap, pero alam ko, nakilala mo rin ako. Kaya ka narito, di ba? Para sabihing, Oo, oo, ikaw nga 'yun. Naaalala kita.
na, mula noong 24 Enero, 2006, ang nakitambay dito
Monday, April 14, 2008
Silence like a starless morning, which is not silence at all but a form of longing, the moon like an afterthought in the shape of a sigh solid on your throat, a stone turning to water in an instant. A starless morning like that blue horizon a ship sees when wanting to dock finally and the wanting becomes real like suddenly a vast fogless bay, real like its cargo of spice and crosses and music, weightless things so heavy on the shoulders of the small brown-skinned people in their loin-cloths on the shores. In their loincloths with spears impaled on the sand, speaking in consonants lost on the slumbering eardrums of the old world. But this is my country. This is my country, old as water. This is my country of pumice and songs only in minor-chords only my ancestors don't know it, don't know what to call it, this sadness in six strings only. Count the sadnesses and I will sing to you of my blue starless mornings, my blue starless horizons choked with the suffering of my country, suffering I only now remember because of more suffering. I forget now the water in my ancestors’ eyes when they spoke of the moon, Bulan with her one silver eye, their lips forming the shape of bubbles or rain or was it a comb hung like a soundless chime in the heavens. Bulan I call her now because it sounds so brown. I forget now her hair black as the flowing rivers of my broken archipelago, her ankles brown as harvest soil which everyone forgets because of the luminous grains soon to be in their bellies. Bulan I forget now even the shadows that each name held. Bulan to ask you to hold me sounds so much like an infidelity, like someone dying but when she cries for mercy her murderers do not understand. Or maybe they hear some other thing, More or Please I like it or Someday no one will remember this so just go on killing me. It's okay. Bulan I forget your name sometimes but it's okay the moon shines everywhere and I can call you by whatever name I want. I can even keep silent if I want to. Even if I bleed.