May iniisip ka?
Oo.
Ano?
Ayaw kong sabihin. Baka magkatotoo.
Dahil makulit ka
Kilala kita. Oo, ikaw 'yun: Nagkasalubong na tayo minsan, sa LRT, sa Gotohan, sa kanto ng Aurora at Katipunan. Nagkatinginan tayo. Hindi mo ako kinausap, pero alam ko, nakilala mo rin ako. Kaya ka narito, di ba? Para sabihing, Oo, oo, ikaw nga 'yun. Naaalala kita.
na, mula noong 24 Enero, 2006, ang nakitambay dito
the art of eating biscochos, or, sucking adam's cock
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Adam here wrote a very enlightening response to my previous post, and I am now eating biscochos, m&m's, and a good-sized serving of humble pie. Yes, I might have opened my mouth too early and betrayed my own ignorance, and yes, contrary to previous claims, I have not yet learned to shut up about things I don't understand.
I've never held any illusions of being part of some counter-culture movement. And I've also spent maybe enough time in the academe (as a once-teacher and as a once-masteral student) to be considered part of the establishment. But, truth to say, I've also been a bit of a renegade when it came to institutions trying to colonize thought. There's a certain in-betweenness about where I am in this polarity of "academic" and "non-academic," if there is such a polarity, or if I for one moment allow myself to think in terms of binaries. I guess this time I just found myself smack on one side of that binary-- the academic, colonizing, epistemically violent side-- without realizing it, while in fact brandishing myself as a, yes, some sort of renegade. Sorry.
So. Back to biscochos for me? I guess. But it wouldn't be fair if I just said "sorry, o nga 'no, mali ako" without trying to explain a bit about where I came from when I wrote that, or without at least trying to answer-- within my limited capacity-- some of the questions Adam raised.
Or not. The questions Adam raised, he'd already answered. And I do agree with him. You should just read his entry, really. So let me just tell you where I was coming from.
There should be, I think, always, a searching for spaces of resistance. Within any work. It doesn't matter where that space is: from inside the definitions and ideas spoon-fed to us by the academe, from outside of it, in-between, from your toilet seat, we shouldn't care, really. Because without resistance, art-- in any form-- will crystallize and break. It will stagnate. Kapag sinubo lang natin nang sinubo ang sinasabi sa ating tama nang hindi sinasabing, teka, bakit, pinagtitibay natin ang institusyong nagdidikta ng tama-- at kinocolonize lang din natin ang lahat ng boses dun sa malawak na plurality nang kung ano ang "tama." O kung ano ang "tamang paraan ng pagsusulat." O kung ano ang "maganda." Kahit ano-- katarungan, pag-ibig, katahimikan-- kasya diyan. Kapag nagkaroon ng colonization of thought, kapag pinakitid ang plurality, nawawala ang play, ang differance-- na ugat, sa tingin ko, ng pagkaart ng art. (Mukhang hindi magkakasya sa iisang post ang lahat nang gusto kong sabihin.)
And this resistance's twin is uncertainty. Sa questioning nangyayari ang resistance, obviously. There should be uncertainty, always, about our own poetics. There should be an awareness that the way we see and write our works changes, will change, whether we like it or not. Why? Because the only way to pursue affect (more on this, affect, in later posts, and I do promise to post about it)-- no, not the only way, but the way I pursue it-- is through situating your own poetics in the larger narrative of history, your own, and your horizon's. What I mean to say is kaya mo lang magsulat galing sa sarili mong karanasan. What I mean to say is kasali pa rin ang karanasan na yun sa pagbuo mo ng sariling poetika.
And what does all of this have to do with my brain-fart about "speculative" fiction? It just seemed to me that the resistance was (is?) half-baked. That the resistance was not a matter of form or poetics-- and I'm not sure if there was an awareness of resistance at all. Again, I've not read all that's been said by and about the "speculative" fiction proponents-- I just feel the need to respond to Adam now-- but the naming, the so-called movement, seems too rushed, too unaware of the implications of the naming itself.
And, deeper into that unawareness: the fact that there are no Tagalog, Bisaya, or regional writers who are part of this movement, the fact that there are no visible moves to correct this, the idea that maybe just maybe the proponents are unaware of the implications of these in terms of marginalization and the colonization of thought-- parang may mali, e. A so-called movement must situate itself within the context of larger narratives, larger than the institutions it would like to set itself apart from, larger than the book-publishing world; to be unaware of the violence it does to other voices in the plurality, to be unaware of the othering they perform by merely naming themselves, well, I see that as a betrayal of their own purposes. For some reason I am reminded of freedom fighters who burn down farms and villages.
But. Still. Adam's point when he said that:
What’s been happening is that more and more new writers – writers who have been writing scifi and fantasy and crime fiction and erotica, etc etc - are getting published in Story Philippines, in the Free Press, in Philippine Genre Stories, because of the pervasive presence and aggro PR campaign of the term. How can you worry about fiction as a form as a plurality is threatened by “speculative fiction” when “speculative fiction” actually showed a lot of people – a lot of people inside and outside of the usual mode of literary production, ie the Academe – that fiction as a form as a plurality is really broader and thicker than what we are initially shown and taught?
Yeah, tama nga. Regardless of their intentions and their politics and their seeming unawareness of the vast implications of their "movement"-- they are achieving something. That, for one, is a feat. And I am happy for that, and happy that Adam made me aware of this and my own personal biases against certain... entities. I will shut up now and suck Adam's cock.
PS. I do not mean to disparage homosexuals in any manner by using "suck Adam's cock" as a term of endearment and intellectual admiration. If Adam were a girl and we were sufficiently close I would have said "go down on her" or "lick her cunt."
natuwa naman ako sa mutual blowjobs niyo. hahahaha! clarification lang po, what do you mean no regional writers? as in no writers who would write spec-fic stories in the regional languages? or no regional representative writing in phil spec fic english? kasi kung yun latter, I disagree. refer to published texts. Also, if I may add, one of the tasks should be to subvert the english language in this, er, umbrella to be able to represent a said regional/minoritized culture. Kung yun former, hayaan niyo may susulpot na yan na ganyan. Pero ayos sa diskursong ito ah. Wagi! Sana tumakbo 'tong pinapatakbo niyo!
lily: i meant writers who write in regional languages. or tagalog. (which begs for an entirely different stream of blowjobs-- this idea of tagalog [disguised in textbooks as filipino] as some sort of "mother tongue.")
anyway. the former, bale. and yes, i do recognize that "task" of subversion. but writing in english, despite this "task," has always been a class problematic. kahit sa anong literary form-- sa tingin ko, sumpa 'yan ng literature because it moves within the realm of language. may exclusive at class-specific sphere ang literature in english. i dare anyone to deny that.
at kung may susulpot na "speculative" fiction in regional dialects, e di astig kung ganu'n. ang dami kong tanong sa mga susulpot na ganu'n. ngayon lang ba kayo lumitaw talaga? o dati pa may ganyan, at napalitaw lang dahil sa efforts ng "movement"? sa huli, ang naisip ko, sobrang magiging ambivalent nito para sa akin. on one hand, astig, lumitaw kayo sa wakas dahil may nag-ingay na mga english writers sa maynila. on the other, oh, great, ang bait naman ng mga english writers sa maynila at binigyan kayo ng venue para ipakita ang akda ninyo. patronizing pag ganu'n, di ba?
about this discourse, oo, natuwa rin ako. sana may magsimulang mas malalawak na diskurso ukol dito, at sana maging sing-mapagmahal namin ang mga nagdidiskurso ukol sa isa't isa. someday, i believe, blowjobs will save the world.
while i find your lack of faith in eating biscochos disturbing (vader hinga) saving the world via blowjobs sounds like a fantastic idea. so, here, have a pookie. . .i mean cookie ; )
ba't kailangan ipaliwanag ang sariling opinyon? informed man o hindi, mas may say sa akin ang pag-amin ng bias, ng preference, tangina, ng gusto.
aminado naman tayong lahat na mayayabang tayo, diba? ipagpatuloy ang kayabangan. panindigan! (campaign ko yan sa 2010, btw.)
eto lang masasabi ko (in other words, "opinion ko 'to"? yaaak bumawi!): inunahan lang kasi tayo ng labels. magic realism, spec fic, etc, etc. Kapag nagkukwento ba tayo tungkol sa capre sa may balete sa likod ng bahay, iniisip ba natin na spec fic ito? Magic realism ba ang kwento ng nanay ko na namatay ang lola nya dahil, ewan, kinain nya yung puto na alay sa patay nung death anniversary ng sarili niyang nanay?
Pag kinuwento mo siguro sa kano, iisipin nya magic realism. Walang capre sa states eh. Si adam (bible adam ha!) kasi inatasan ng diyos na bigyang pangalan lahat ng bagay. Tuloy eto tayo ngayon.
PS. ang complicated pala ng mga rituals ninyong mga lalake. there's always someone sucking someone else's dick. at word verification ko: nutsac.
drey: sa tingin ko kailangan kasi diskurso ito at mas lilinaw kung ganu'n, at hindi naman kasi 'yung pag-aangas ang punto, e, (parang sa sobrang dami na ng naaangasan sa akin wala na rin akong pakialam kung maangasan pa ang iba o hindi,) kundi 'yung pagtatangkang pausarin ang panitikang pilipino-- gaano mang kapretentious nu'ng katagang 'yun, totoong 'yun ang tangka ko (natin) dito.
at oo nga, usapin ng labels talaga siya, which was one of the first points i raised-- ano ba ang punto talaga ng pagbibigay ng bagong pangalan? hmm. napaisip ako bigla: parang ang laking factor sa diskursong ito kung saan ba nanggaling 'yung act of naming, labeling, and for what purposes. although, sa huli nga, baka mas maiging ibalanse ang tanong na 'yun nu'ng fact na marami na ngang bagong pintong nabuksan para sa maraming bagong manunulat dahil dito.
at ang labo naman nampotahnginang word verifications ng blog ko hahahaha. siyet.
powtek. "a word is elegy to what it signifies." hmmm... gawin na nating "a phrase" para kunwari literary memory pero plagiarism lang din naman. ahehe. at, uy, drey, kapre dapat. may "k" ang kapre natin, no. in the same way may "u" ang unicorn nila or "m" ang minotaur. haha. labo. gandang diskurso to, ah. ewan, basta manood kayo ng Amihan! November na!
gusto ko na kapag may nagtanong sa akin, "sinu-sino ang nasa larawang ito?" puwede kong sabihin, "ito si mikael, yan si adam, yun si joel, siya si rain". gusto ko na kapag may nagtanong sa akin, "anong pinag-uusapan ng mga bayaw ngayon?", puwede kong sabihin, "spec fic". hindi "kuwan" o kaya "chorva"
ano ba ang label? pag-angkin ba ito, as in, "a, meron akong label. maghahanap ako ng mga kuwento tapos lalagyan ko ng label ko." interpretasyon ba ang label? as in, "heto ang mga naisulat na kuwento sa Filipinas, at lalagyan ko sila ng label na tradisyunal, moderno, postmoderno, at postkolonyal"?
siguro pareho. magkasabay. pero di ba, hindi naman hawak ng kritiko/writer/bayaw/dean alfar lang ang label. hindi ba, kapag nilagyan mo ng label ang isang akdang pampanitikan, binabago rin nung espesipikong akda na yun yung label na inilagay sa kanya, pati na rin yung ibang mga akdang nalagyan ng kaparehong label? para sa akin hindi mapagkulong ang label, kung astig ang naisulat mo. na balang araw, kapag may naisip na ibang label, may kinalaman pa rin ang akda mo. astig e.
hm. "astig ang naisulat mo." ano bang tawag dun? kanon, tama, kanon. may kanon na ba ang napakabatang kategoryang spec fic?kung wala pa, wala pa siyang ipinagkaiba sa "kuwan" o kaya "chorva". ang pinupunto ko, puwede ko na bang sabihin, "a, yan pala ang spec fic. babasagin ko yan gamit ang sarili kong bersiyon ng spec fic. astig ako e." meron na bang babasagin? kung wala pa, anything goes.
ganun naman ang mga batang kategorya di ba. at ang tumatanda lang naman na kategorya ay yung may halaga (sa mambabasa, sa manunulat, sa bayan, sa china). sa madali't sabi, kusa namang mamamatay ang isang salitang walang gamit, kahit walang pumapatay dito.
yuck, ha, so gay.
tapos yung word verification ko pa ay "bloaee". me pinapahiwatig ata ang blog mo sa akin, kael.