abo sa dila

May iniisip ka? Oo. Ano? Ayaw kong sabihin. Baka magkatotoo.

 
Dahil makulit ka
Kilala kita. Oo, ikaw 'yun: Nagkasalubong na tayo minsan, sa LRT, sa Gotohan, sa kanto ng Aurora at Katipunan. Nagkatinginan tayo. Hindi mo ako kinausap, pero alam ko, nakilala mo rin ako. Kaya ka narito, di ba? Para sabihing, Oo, oo, ikaw nga 'yun. Naaalala kita.
O, ha, Plurk, o, ha!
Radyo? Radyo?
Libreng humirit

Mag-exercise tayo tuwing umaga
Tambay ka muna
Lokal Kolor
Ano'ng hanap mo?
Basa lang nang basa
Tropa ko

    na, mula noong 24 Enero, 2006, ang nakitambay dito

dear diary ulit
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
1.

Bayaw. Oo, ikaw, mehn, ikaw na bumabasa nito. Nakita ko 'yung pangalan mo, dito sa may amin, may poster. Maraming mga poster, sa poste ng Meralco, sa pader ni Aling Anding, mga flyer, ipinamimigay ng mga batang nangangaroling.

Nandu'n ang pangalan mo, may litrato pa. May hawak kang bote ng beer.

Ang sabi, magpapainom ka raw.

Nga pala, kumusta naman ang pasko mo?

2.

Sige na nga:











3.

Okey naman dito. Nakakatuwa pa rin naman ang mga bata-- mga pamangkin ko. Bigayan ng regalo, kina ermats, erpats, sa ate ko, ayun.

Nang dumaan nga ako grocery para bumili ng tupperware na paglalagyan ng ipamimigay na putahe sa kapitbahay, napansin kong may extra pang kaunti sa wallet. Alak o ice cream? Alak o ice cream? Sabi ko sa sarili ko, minsan lang naman, e. Ngayon lang sa buong taon. Ice cream.

4.

Siguro langgam ako sa isang nakaraang buhay. Sa isang tasa ng kape: limang sachet ng asukal. Tapos muntik ko nang maubos 'yung isang liyanera ng leche flan, kung di lang ako pinigilan ng ate ko. Ngayon masakit ang kanang bagang ko. Pakdatsiyet, naubos na ang breds ko. Mahal pa namang magpadentista.

5.

O, isa pa, galing sa isa sa mga paborito kong makata:

Permanence
Lawrence Raab

I can't remember how old I was,
but I used to stand in front
of the bathroom mirror, trying to imagine
what it would be like to be dead.
I thought I'd have some sense of it
if I looked far enough into my own eyes,
as if my gaze, meeting itself, would make
an absence, and exclude me.

It was an experiment, like the time
Michael Smith and I set a fire in his basement
to prove something about chemistry.
It was an idea: who I would
or wouldn't be at the end of everything,
what kind of permanence I could imagine.

In seventh grade, Michael and I
were just horsing around
when I pushed him up against that window
and we both fell through—
astonished, then afraid. Years later

his father's heart attack
could have hit at any time,
but the day it did they'd quarreled,
and before Michael walked out
to keep his fury alive, or feel sorry for himself,
he turned and yelled, I wish you were dead!

We weren't in touch. They'd moved away.
And I've forgotten who told me
the story, how ironic it was meant
to sound, or how terrible.

We could have burned down the house.
We could have been killed going through
that window. But each of us
deserves, in a reasonable life,
at least a dozen times when death
doesn't take us. At the last minute

the driver of the car coming toward us
fights off sleep and stays in his lane.
He makes it home, we make it home.
Most days are like this. You yell
at your father and later you say
you didn't mean it. And he says, I know.

You look into your own eyes in a mirror
and that's all you can see.
Until you notice the window
behind you, sunlight on the leaves
of the oak, and then the sky,
and then the clouds passing through it.

6.

Sablay ba para sa okasyon? 'Yang tula ni Raab, sablay ba? Okey lang yan. Ganda, e.

7.

Tangina, p're, naiyak ako sa Cars. Wasaaak. Mas malala pa sa iyak ko sa Magnifico. Wasaaak talaga.

8.

Ubos na ang budget. Ngayon, mag-aabang na naman ako ng a-kinse para sa suweldo. Kaya kung naka-boundary ka sa pamamamasko, huy, painom ka namehn.
posted by mdlc @ 4:49 PM  
1 Comments:
  • At 5:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    kael, maraming salamat sa pag-post ng tula ni raab. meron din ako niyan dito, pero masarap yung feeling na mabasa siya ulit :)


    -twinkle

     
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