May iniisip ka?
Oo.
Ano?
Ayaw kong sabihin. Baka magkatotoo.
Dahil makulit ka
Kilala kita. Oo, ikaw 'yun: Nagkasalubong na tayo minsan, sa LRT, sa Gotohan, sa kanto ng Aurora at Katipunan. Nagkatinginan tayo. Hindi mo ako kinausap, pero alam ko, nakilala mo rin ako. Kaya ka narito, di ba? Para sabihing, Oo, oo, ikaw nga 'yun. Naaalala kita.
na, mula noong 24 Enero, 2006, ang nakitambay dito
O, say n'yo?
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Ang dalas kong mag-post, 'no? Tatak ng taong madalas mabato. Madalas ding uminom. Kaya madalas ding magrenga.
***
Xaviergrille Renga #x
Don't you tell me that. Not that. I don't need to be told. Say: the cars throb away, the rain aims another silence, the rain isn't here yet. There is nothing else to believe.
Only hear the sky straining the voice of angels, so that everything comes down diminished, halved, quartered. The full moon is a lie. Look, the rain has arrived, weak and scattered.
And weightless. Everything else arrives with it: lonely carcass of things forgotten, dark breath of a city, a cancer, our wounded latitudes. Sometimes a fissure gurgling floodwater. The horizon, an arm's breadth away. What did you say again, earlier? Something about the moon,
some urgent message about its absence. And of the rain being there, circling our bodies, exposing our watered element.
(Mikael de Lara Co, Joel Toledo)
***
Xaviergrille Renga # x + 1
I am learning how to draw shadows. To stand still and trace the slant of moment, here, now, space becoming presence. The sun eclipses, discovers how it hides its own piercing luminiscence. And I stare at my solid body, opaque. I stare at what it leaves behind: sunlight, shadowless and everywhere.
Kinuha ng Air21 Express sina Anthony Washington, Mac Cardona, at KG Canaleta para sa picks 1, 5, at 6 sa PBA Draft. Hindi iyan balita. Pero: kung matatandaan, miyembro ng Air21 si Wesley Gonzales, na mahigpit ka kaangasan ni Cardona noong mga araw na miyembro pa sila ng Ateneo at La Salle, respectively. Tingnan nga natin ang mangyayari kung pagsamahin sa iisang team ang dalawang boy-angas na 'to.
***
Fast Break Edward Hirsch (in memory of Dennis Turner, 1946-1984)
A hook shot kisses the rim and hangs there, helplessly, but doesn’t drop,
and for once our gangly starting center boxes out his man and times his jump
perfectly, gathering the orange leather from the air like a cherished possession
and spinning around to throw a strike to the outlet who is already shoveling
an underhand pass toward the other guard scissoring past a flat-footed defender
who looks stunned and nailed to the floor in the wrong direction, trying to catch sight
of a high, gliding dribble and a man letting the play develop in front of him
in slow motion, almost exactly like a coach’s drawing on the blackboard,
both forwards racing down the court the way that forwards should, fanning out
and filling the lanes in tandem, moving together as brothers passing the ball
between them without a dribble, without a single bounce hitting the hardwood
until the guard finally lunges out and commits to the wrong man
while the power-forward explodes past them in a fury, taking the ball into the air
by himself now and laying it gently against the glass for a lay-up,
but losing his balance in the process, inexplicably falling, hitting the floor
with a wild, headlong motion for the game he loved like a country
and swiveling back to see an orange blur floating perfectly through the net.
***
Kinuha para sa second round ng draft sina BJ Manalo at Larry Fonacier. Napunta sa Red Bull si Fonacier. Nakuha rin ng Red Bull si Paolo Bugia para sa third round. Parang nagiging pugad ng mga Atenista ang Red Bull. Wala lang. Gusto ko lang i-share.
***
Napunta sa L.A. Lakers si Kwame Brown. Kung aalalahanin, si Brown ang #1 pick noong panahong President for Basketball Operations ng Washington Wizards si Michael Jordan. Malaki ang pag-asa, dati, na dadalhin niya sa luwalhati ng playoffs ang Washington-- bagay na di niya nagawa. Kung sa bagay, kahit noong bumalik si MJ, hindi rin niya nagawang dalhin sa playoffs ang Wizards, e. 'Yun pa kayang (noo'y) batang patpatin e magagawa 'yun.
Ilan sa mga taong nanggaling din sa Wizards, bago mag-blossom: Chris Webber. Rip Hamilton. Mayroon pang ilan-- kaya ba ninyong silang pangalanan? Clue: negro silang lahat.
Ang punto: may sumpa ang Washington Wizards ("The Washington Curse" kapag iningles. Hwaw.) na humuhusay at nagiging impact player ang mga binibitawan nila dahil hindi makapagpakita nang matino kapag nasa line-up.
Ang punto: good luck kay Kwame. Good luck lalo dahil magiging kakampi niya si Kobe na para bang may tapakoko. Good luck din sa Washington, matapos nilang bitawan si Kwame at (susmaryosep) si Larry Hughes. At sino ang nakuha nilang kapalit? si Caron Butler. Yeah-hey.
***
Basketball's the American Game Because It Is Hysterical Robert Sward
"Basketball's the American game because it's hysterical," says Lorrie Goldensohn as the players and coaches come off the bench and the crowd is on its feet yelling and the Knicks are ahead 97-95 with just over three minutes to go in the fourth quarter and Perry hits from the side and Lorrie's husband, Barry, comes downstairs with a bottle of scotch and a guide to English verse.
"Unless there is a new mind, there cannot be a new line," he reads refilling our glasses. "Without invention the line will never again take on its ancient divisions..."
All evening we have been watching the New York Knicks battling the Boston Celtics and having a running argument about free verse, traditional rhyming poetry, syllabic verse ("what's the point in counting for counting's sake?"), the critic Hugh Kenner, John Hollander's 'Rhyme's Reason,' the variable foot and the American idiom.
"In and out by Williams," says the announcer, "he's got a nose for the basket." The crowd is on its feet again, roaring.
"We know nothing and can know nothing but the dance, to dance to a measure contrapuntally, Satirically, the tragic foot," Barry continues.
The Celtics race down the court. "Talk about the green wave coming at you." Bird hits and the Celtics even the score.
"Basketball's the American game because it's like the variable foot," says Lorrie, "it's up in the air all the time. It's quick and the floor is continually moving and there's this short back and forth factor."
"What I like best about the game," I say, "is shutting my eyes and tuning out the announcer and hearing Barry read and arguing about poetry and drinking and listening all the while to the music of seven-foot black herons in gym shoes, the stirring squeak of twenty over-size sneakers on the varnished floor, a floor which has been carefully and ingeniously miked in advance for sound."
***
Akala ko magiging solid ang line-up ng New Jersey Nets sa darating na season. Akala ko idaragdag nila ang isang reliable na power-forward, para makatulong sa rebounding, para lalong gumanda ang run-and-gunning nila. Akala ko maririnig ko ito: "Shareef Abdur-Rahim snares the defensive board. Outlet pass to Jason Kidd. Kidd's running. Looks right to Richard Jefferson, passes-- no he doesn't pass to Jefferson, it's a behind-the-back to Vince Carter who soars for the two-handed three-sixty hammer!"
Pero hindi.
Si Abdur-Rahim ang isa sa mga paborito kong player. Sobrang underrated nito. Nu'ng kabataan niya, para siyang si Amare Stoudemire: mahusay tumakbo, malakas umere, mabilis. Mobile big man, 'ika nga. Minalas sa mga team na nasalihan, hanggang unti-unti nang tumanda.
Ngayon, hindi siya kinuha ng Nets. Napunta siya sa Sacramento, para ipasak sa butas na iniwan ni Chris Webber doon. Dahil hindi kayang umiskor ni Peja Stojakovic nang walang katulong.
Good luck din kay Shareef.
***
The Courts at Lawton Street Alan Shapiro
Soon when the sun drops over the rim of buildings, across this small tar court the out of work, the working, students and dropouts will be running till dark. But now they are only gathering in a loose arc before the basket, in a fog of heat where they forget what they forget, lazily shooting.
A slow impersonal music winds through their voices, a great friendliness so casual nobody needs to notice; they talk of this and that, old games, miraculous old moves...
Now there are three balls, three drab moons turning through the gold soot of evening, colliding on the bent rim, making the metal chain net whisper applause. At the other end someone dribbles behind his back, between his legs, while two small kids chase him till they stumble, lunging at that ghost between his hands.
And when singing, "Got to sweeten up my jams" he lopes slowly to the hoop and stuffs the ball in over his head, the kids, knowing they watch a god they could become, with solemnity slap each other's palms and say, "Nasty, nasty," as though the word meant only fame to them, and all there is of hope.
***
Natalo na, sa wakas, ang FEU Tamaraws. Nina Dindo "The Bullet/ Tubol-et" Pumaren at ng UE Red Warriors.
Okey, a. Sa kabila ng pagkabata at medyo maliit na line-up nila e kinakaya nilang dumurog ng mga powerhouse (FEU at La Salle). Ang good news para sa Ateneo: 1. tinalo na ng Eagles ang UE; at 2. mukhang taeng binudburan ng corn starch si Dindo.
Ha? Ang labo. Isa pang astig: si Norman Black ay, well, black. Hwekhwekhwek.
"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be." - Stephen Chbosky, from The Perks Of Being A Wallflower
***
Your Aries Drinking Style
Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Your competitive streak makes you prone to closing time shot contests. You're a sloppy, fun drunk, and you get mighty flirty after a couple tipples.
Getting you drunk is a good way for people to get what they want out of you, should other methods fail. You can become bellicose when blotto, but you will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. You can be counted on to do the same for others -- so long as they haven't gone and done anything really horrible to you last night (ahem, sneaky Gemini!)
Your Signature Cocktails
Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the ruler of spicy food and red things -- and for balance, astrologers recommend they eat tomatoes, onions, olives and greens. That's right, Aries, you were born under the sign of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules grapefruit, and they've been known to kick back a salty dog and a sea breeze or two. For extreme hotcha, try a concoction with cinnamon liqueur in it.
Your Celebrity Drinking Buddies
Conan O'Brien, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Jessica Parker, David Letterman, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, Jack Black, and Hugh Hefner.
The other one, the one called Borges, is the one things happen to. I walk through the streets of Buenos Aires and stop for a moment, perhaps mechanically now, to look at the arch of an entrance hall and the grillwork on the gate; I know of Borges from the mail and see his name on a list of professors or in a biographical dictionary. I like hourglasses, maps, eighteenth-century typography, the taste of coffee and the prose of Stevenson; he shares these preferences, but in a vain way that turns them into the attributes of an actor. It would be an exaggeration to say that ours is a hostile relationship; I live, let myself go on living, so that Borges may contrive his literature, and this literature justifies me. It is no effort for me to confess that he has achieved some valid pages, but those pages cannot save me, perhaps because what is good belongs to no one, not even to him, but rather to the language and to tradition. Besides, I am destined to perish, definitively, and only some instant of myself can survive in him. Little by little, I am giving over everything to him, though I am quite aware of his perverse custom of falsifying and magnifying things.
Spinoza knew that all things long to persist in their being; the stone eternally wants to be a stone and the tiger a tiger. I shall remain in Borges, not in myself (if it is true that I am someone), but I recognize myself less in his books than in many others or in the laborious strumming of a guitar. Years ago I tried to free myself from him and went from the mythologies of the suburbs to the games with time and infinity, but those games belong to Borges now and I shall have to imagine other things. Thus my life is a flight and I lose everything and everything belongs to oblivion, or to him.
...na anumang pilit ko e wala talaga akong makabuluhang maikuwento rito? Tangina, parang takot akong magkuwento, dahil pag inusal ko ang anumang gusto kong ikuwento e magiging korni 'yun, magiging baduy, magiging peke. O baka talagang tinatamad lang akong magsulat, kasi ayaw ko namang magkuwento nang bitin, di ba?
***
Tangina, natapilok ako nu'ng Biyernes nang hatinggabi, sa basketbol. Masakit hanggang Sabado nang hapon. Tapos paika-ika akong nagpunta sa SM San Lazaro. Unang beses 'yun, kahit na alam kong noon pang July 15 nagbukas 'yun. Medyo natakot nga ako, kasi raw umuuga ang buong building, sa dami na rin ng tao. May mga nagsasabing dahil minadali ang paggawa, kaya hindi masyadong stable.
Ang galing ng mga ganito. Naaalala n'yo pa ba nu'ng dati, nu'ng bata(ng-bata) pa tayo, 'yung sinasabi nilang kapatid daw ni Robina na taong-ahas na kamukha ng Anak ni Zuma na nangangain ng mga tao sa elevator ng Robinson's Galleria? Parang ganu'n, e, parang ganu'n ang pakiramdam ko. Ano kaya ang mayroon sa SM San Lazaro? Huhulaan ko: mayroon kayang mga trabahador na naaksidente at hinayaan na lang matabunan ng semento, gaya nu'ng panahon ni Imelda, sa Manila Film Center? Mayroon kayang lumang sementeryo sa kinatatayuan ng SM? May sumpa kaya ang lupa? Gumagawa na tayo ng sari-sarili nating alamat, 'yung buong komunidad ng mga naniniwala, ang sambayanang bayaw, parang iniineksyunan ng kung anong klaseng enerhiya ng sampalataya ang San Lazaro....
Halata bang pinipilit kong lagyan ng kung-anong reading itong pagyanig ng San Lazaro? Halata bang kababasa ko lang ng American Gods?
***
Hindi pa ako nagsisimulang maging card-holding member ng bayang karerista nang ilipat ang karerahan ng San Lazaro sa Carmona. Baka minumulto lang ng mga kabayo 'yung bagong-tayong SM.
***
Hindi ko na inabot 'yung mala-alamat na kabayong sina Thundervic at Real Top. Hindi ko rin inabot ang building ng Jai Alai sa Taft. Hindi ko rin inabot ang marami pang ibang bagay. Napansin kong sa mga luma kong entry, ang pinakamatitino e 'yung may nakasilid na katagang "Putangina, ano na ba'ng nangyayari sa buhay ko." Kung ano ang kinalaman ng mga binanggit kong 'yan sa "organicity" ng entry na 'to, hindi ko alam. Putangina ano na ba'ng nangyayari sa buhay ko.
Nga pala, nakakalakad na ako ng diretso ngayon, pero hindi ko pa rin kayang tumakbo.
